I enjoy being a writer, and I’m fortunate that I can stay at home and write full-time thanks to my husband; however, the urge to rejoin the workforce has been weighing heavily on me for the last six months or so. Two incomes are always better than one, but for the most part, we make do with the one income. My husband doesn’t pressure me to work, because he understands that having a job and career are two different things. When I went to college, I was sure I wanted to be a teacher. I wanted nothing more than to teach. Even writing was put on the backburner, because I felt like becoming a teacher was my calling. I was meant to be a teacher. After completing my internship in the public schools, my ideas about teaching changed drastically. Teaching wasn’t teaching anymore. Teaching had become so scripted that there was no room for creativity. No Child Left Behind and Common Core did the opposite of what it was supposed to do….LEAVE CHILDREN BEHIND. I lost all interest in teaching after meeting teachers that were only concerned with students passing a test rather than actually learning and teaching.
In between graduating college and now, I worked outside the home, but it was only a job for me. My working days in Georgia were the worse. I worked at the Post Office, a male-dominated field. The men really felt as if they were gods. If you didn’t bow down to them, submit to their demands, or sleep with them or you were treated less than poo. Being that my job was seasonal/temporary and Georgia being a right to work state, I kept silent about the craziness that went on at that post office. I honestly didn’t even think about the many ethics codes that were violated or the sexual harassment that I endured, because that’s exactly what it was. I was young and honestly, I was just excited to be working and actually doing something for me for a change. I did my job, and I went home. There were a few incidents where I had to constantly reject men or speak up for myself, because they would not leave me alone. That was that. I was informed after my seasonal employment ended that falsified documents had been added to my file. When the job restarted, I got yet another male supervisor that either forced your submission or you felt his wrath. Back then, I wasn’t the one to feel anyone’s wrath, so naturally I would lash out. I remember being written up and called in to the manager’s office. He informed me of the citations in my file and allowed me the opportunity to state my case. I would have been fired, but he eventually agreed that I had been falsely accused. At the end of the job assignment, I was laid off and not called back. Girls that I worked with who had caved to the men in power were called back but not me. After that, I was either overqualified or under-qualified for jobs.
It was so bad that I couldn’t even get a job in fast-food, because no manager could understand why someone with a degree would want to work such a job. Again, it wasn’t about the money. It’s never been about the money. As I explained earlier, I’m very fortunate to have a husband that has always been blessed with a good job. Anyway, I tried going back to school, but the the tuition was killing me with only one income. I eventually had to stop. I managed to do one semester towards another degree before stopping. In the midst of all this, I started writing again. I even published my first and second books. I still yearned to work outside of the home. My kids were bigger, and it there was no reason for me to be at home since all of my children were not school aged. I started the job search again and managed to land a job as a lead teacher at a daycare, but that too only lasted a short while. My son had some issues at school that required me to become a stay at home mom again. I hated to leave, but my son was and is way more important that a job. I’ve been unemployed ever since then, except for me starting my own publishing company, literary magazine, and began writing books. I have done so many applications, follow-ups, interviews, etc and haven’t had ONE callback. Not even a temp agency could find me employment. Yet, I still didn’t give up. I continued the job search. Still nothing. I have no criminal record, and I’m educated. I guess the old saying is true…It’s not what you know but who you know! I went on an interview Friday, and I thought it went great. It was not my ideal place for a job, but it was a job and my goal is to just get back into the workforce even if it is starting small. The manager was telling me to expect a call on Monday and asking about my schedule, etc., and I was just sure I had a job. I may still receive a call but fast Forward to yesterday, still no phone call. As much as I hated to admit it, I was disappointed. I allowed myself to get my hopes up. When it fell through, I was hurt. I wanted to give up and just embrace being a stay at home mom. I mean I can’t make anyone hire me, and I can’t change my past or my work history. I do not regret any decision I made for my family. Although, I wanted to give up, I didn’t. I made up my mind to do more applications and job search some more. Yesterday evening, I received a callback for a job, a high-paying job, to take the assessment for phase one of their hiring process. Although, it’s not a job offer. It restored my hope and strengthened my faith that God sees me trying, and He has not forgotten about me! It may seem such a small thing, but for me it was huge. God stepped in when I was on the verge of letting go. HE stepped in when I felt hopeless, and ready to give up. I may not get the job. Who knows I probably will, but I know now that all of my trying is not in vain!
A friend of mine referred me to the process required to make olive oil. An olive goes through three stages before it is transformed into what we know as olive oil. Jekayln Carr has a song titled Greater. It refers to the shaking, beating, and pressing process that takes place in order for the oil to run out of the olive. I know that God is using this experience to produce in me greater faith, greater patience, and greater expectations. So, this job search adventure can be summed up in three words: GREATER IS COMING!
1 Corinthians 2:9 King James Version (KJV)
9 But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.