Are you your sister’s Keeper? If you have sisters, I’m sure that you are and vice versa for them. But what about other women in your life that you may not be related to? Women in your class, school, work, or church? Do you have an obligation to that woman as you do to your blood sisters and best friends?
Most people would say NO! IF THEY NOT MY FAMILY, THEY ARE NOT MY CONCERN!
It is this form of thinking that has damn near crushed the women species. We live up to the crabs in a barrel mentality. Most Women today, most not all, will step over a fallen sister instead of helping her up.
What happened to the days when women stood together and helped one another? Days where the women in the village (the community) helped one another?
We have older generations so intimidated by the younger generations that they refuse to share their sagacity. We have a younger generation so used to doing things on their own that they don’t know how to receive advice or ask for help. Now, in no way am I saying the older or younger generation is to blame but I will say that there is a huge generational gap between women of the past and women of today.
With so many platforms, it’s easy to reach people all over the world. The Aniya Day situation have touched people all over the world and everyone are giving their two cents on the topic. For the ones that don’t know, Aniya Day was the four year girl who was beaten. Starved, and abused by her mother and stepfather. The Father tried his best to get custody of his daughter because of the abuse but the system failed him. I understand the outpour of love and support surrounding this family at this heartbreaking time, but we are seeing far too many cases like Aniya’s. My heart is saddened by this tragedy and all the tragedies like this one. Just like we have an opium crisis in the United States, we have a crisis among Women that are desperately seeking for love and finding it in the wrong way. Now, we can point fingers in many directions in Aniya’s case or the many cases like hers, but at the end of the day, we have to ask ourselves, what caused this? Could this have been prevented? Where was the mother’s mother? How did she raise her daughter? Did she raise her daughter? Did the mother have positive women role models in her life? The questions are endless, but we have to ask them. We have to go all the way back and attempt to understand where the clouded judgment started. We have to go back to that pivotal moment when love went lack or when love was misconstrued as pain. Some people tend to think love must hurt, but love does not hurt. It’s loving the wrong people and things that hurts us the most.
Women are rushing into relationships, because they lack love whether it was because of a broken home or broken relationship, in an attempt to feel love or experience love in a way that they never completely received in life, they fail to protect themselves, their loved ones, and their souls.
Now let’s go back to the question I asked at the beginning of this blog.
ARE WE OBLIGATED TO BE A KEEPER OF WOMEN THAT ARE NOT IN OUR FAMILY?
There are people stepping up and commenting about Aniya’s situation, that won’t speak up for the child next door whose being neglected or abuse. You have people commenting, blogging, and posting about Aniya that won’t speak out about their family members abusing and neglecting their children. This happens because we feel that it isn’t our job or we fear them rejecting us. We feel we are not their keeper, therefore it is there issue to deal with but if we are Christians, then we have a duty to be our sister’s Keeper.
Galatians 6:2 states, Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. (NIV)
Hebrews 13:16 states, And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased. (NIV)
Christianity teaches us that God is LOVE and LOVE is the most powerful thing, but as children our parent’s love is the first type of love we encounter. Our understanding of love and it’s perplexities comes from our familial experiences and then our worldly experiences and finally when we are older, our spiritual experiences. So to give love, we have to had love shown or given to us. It is when our example of love is tainted that we start to confuse what love really is and what it entails!
We see it everyday, girls, teens, young women, and some older women unsure about love and how to obtain it, so they run to a lot of negative things ( drugs, promiscuity, bad relationships, etc) in search of love.
There aren’t many old-school grandmothers, mothers, and aunts anymore. The strong, black matriarch that taught you how to love yourself and how to love others. The ones that taught you how to work hard, get a good education, cook, clean, sew, act like a lady, dress like a lady, etc. No, I’m not saying that women need to only do those things. I’m saying that learning those things laid the foundation for taking care of yourself and being your sister’s Keeper. Most people equate old school upbringing as being too strict or being too submissive, but sometimes being submissive can be a good thing because you are either submitting to the will of God or you are resisting.
What have this newfound type of parenting or upbringing has shown us?
It’s just not working. The number of women and children dying at the hands of people that were supposed to love them are high!
United States: Each day – Three or more women are murdered by their boyfriends or husbands on average, according to the American Psychology Association
A USA TODAY examination of more than three decades of FBI homicide data shows that on average, 450 children are killed every year by their parents.
So, tell me again how not being your sister’s Keeper helping…. We cannot prevent these types of tragedies from happening 100% of the time, but we can start to help equip these women with the life skills needed to make better choices which in turn will lead to saving more lives! It’s like when we tell children to not be a bully, to friend those getting bullied and to tell on the people doing the bullying. Well, that’s what is needed among women, a sincere, faith-filled sisterhood where we learn from the elders & prepare young girls n women to never settle for less than they deserve.
It’s amazing to me that black women are some of the smartest people in the world ( we make up the largest demography in colleges) yet we haven’t learned to be our sister’s Keeper? We have women in the same church that won’t even speak to each other. We have women in families that won’t lift a hand or offer a kind word to help others in the family. We have women in power that won’t help another sister out in fear that they will outshine them. Dimming someone else’s light will not cause yours to shine any brighter. The relationship among women will continue to deteriorate if we don’t understand that the devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy and right now he is winning! Until we realize that WE ARE OUR SISTER’S KEEPER, THEN AND ONLY THEN WILL WE BEGIN TO HEAL AND UNITE.
Just think how wonderful this world would be if women united like black people did going to see Marvel’s BLACK PANTHER! The possibilities would be endless!
Starting today, make a decision to uplift our sisters, to be encouraging, loving, and supportive!